


The Right To Belong

by stephluvvsyou



Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series)
Genre: Anorexia, Bullying, Cutting, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-02-27 14:51:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18741274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stephluvvsyou/pseuds/stephluvvsyou
Summary: It's the words that truly stick with us.





	1. The Anonymous Playground

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, I want to give a shout out to Jules1980 also knows as curiousdamage from the Cobra Kai community for being the person who has given me a lot of help as far as advice and techniques for tackling the way to write a story that deals with such sensitive content, and for helping encourage me to share this with the world. I probably wouldn't have been able to do this without her.
> 
> Also want to shout out MissViolet, and the rest of the Cobra Kai writing community for their kind words of encouragement, and the support that they've shown me, always.
> 
> This fic starts out fairly mild, but will get into some darker territory as time goes. If anyone reading this is sensitive to this kind of content, then this story may not be for you. 
> 
> National Suicide Prevention Hotline : 1-800-273-8255

“State your name.”

“…Samantha.”

“Hm, pretty. Do you know why you’re here, Samantha?”

“No.”

“Do you remember anything from last night?”

“I remember waking up in the hospital.”

“Do you remember your parents being there?”

“Sort of…I guess.”

She’d woken up just moments ago, in an unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar faces around her, and in unfamiliar clothing. She probably would have panicked, or screamed, if she didn’t feel so out of it.  
Flashes from the night before were pinging her memory like little zaps. 

“How long have you been feeling this way, Samantha?”

“What do you mean?”

She was suddenly aware of how her own voice sounded. Such a tired, long, drawl. 

The man across from her was sitting behind a large, mahogany desk. The surface of it was so shiny, that it wore the reflections of all the objects on top of it. He looked a little more than middle aged. He had a clipboard resting in his lap, while his eyes; adorned with glasses, studied her, hard. 

The curtains were closed in the room, it was dimly lit with a couple of lamps, and it was cold. So cold that Sam felt as if her arms might go numb. She clasped them around herself, while the man, a Dr. Foley as the name plate sitting on the edge of his desk suggested, turned his chair and leaned onto the desk, letting out a sigh.

“How long have you been thinking about taking your own life?”

Sam blinked towards him, her eyes widening as much as they could. A memory flooded into her brain, the image of her looking at herself in the mirror, tear streaks down her face. A feeling of misery.  
She shook her head subtly before looking back up at the doctor, “There’s been a mistake. I don’t want to die.”

The doctor raised an eyebrow. “Oh?” he gazed down at his clipboard. 

“No.” Sam pleaded, fervently, “This is all just a huge misunderstanding. Where are my parents?”

“You’ll be able to see them in a couple of weeks.” The doctor replied, lifting his eyes from the clipboard once more.

“A couple of weeks??” Sam questioned, desperation in her voice, “You can’t keep me here that long! Hell, you can’t keep me here at all!” she spat, standing up from her chair. She turned on her heel and stormed to the door, flinging it open in one angry motion.  
She was met with 2 tall men in white clothing, and immediately froze her pursuit. Their gazes pierced through her, and she suddenly felt so small. 

She glanced over her shoulder towards the doctor once more, who had remained calmly seated behind his desk, and was giving her a curious look.  
She huffed, letting go of the doorknob, and retreating back to the chair at the desk. She plopped down in it and folded her arms.

After a moment, the doctor spoke once again, “I’m here to help you, Samantha.”

“I don’t need any help.”

“You had an absolutely terrifying amount of Fentanyl in your system. You are incredibly lucky to be alive right now.”

Sam fell completely quiet, and offered no response. Rather, she started bobbing her legs up and down slightly, and her eyes burned a bit.

“Someone who doesn’t want to die, does not do what you did.”

She shifted uncomfortably, before looking at him again, “Can I please go now? I’m tired.”

“You can leave whenever you like.” The doctor replied, before adding, “My office, at least.”

Sam stood up from the chair and walked towards the door once more.

“I’ll see you in the morning, Samantha.”

She didn’t look back. She simply turned the corner and walked away, the two taller men in tow.

The walk back to her room was a bit of a blur. Her emotions had heightened so much talking to the doctor, that now she was feeling another level of exhaustion. She had passed by another person on the way there. A kid, with blue hair. He couldn’t have been any older than herself. He was being accompanied by a nurse. They made eye contact for a brief moment, before he smirked, and she hugged her arms around herself, because it wasn’t that he’d made her feel uncomfortable per se, but because there was something about the look in his eyes. Something scary. She could feel his eyes on her even after they’d passed each other. Fortunately, her room was just a couple of more doors away.

It didn’t take her long after getting back on the bed to fall into another deep sleep. 

The only time she woke up again for a while, was when she heard the chatter of a nurse and Dr. Foley outside her door.

“Just let her sleep today. Don’t worry about getting her involved in any activities.” Dr. Foley instructed, as he adjusted his glasses and peered in at her, “She’ll probably be pretty out of it for another 2 to 3 days actually, but she should at least attend meals and group therapy starting tomorrow. Don’t force her to participate in that yet. She’ll come around.”

“And what about phone calls, doctor?” the nurse then questioned, folding her arms across her chest.

“No. At least not for a week. We’ll see what kind of progress she’s made.” Dr. Foley told, before gazing at his watch. “I need to go. I’ve got Robby in five minutes.”

“Yes doctor.” The nurse responded.

Sam was still, and as quiet as a mouse as she heard the sounds of footsteps fading away from her door. She gazed, blinking towards the wall. She wasn’t even going to be able to speak to her parents for a week? Her eyes burned with the pain of that realization, but she couldn’t will herself to sob or even squeeze out a tear. She was just way too tired. And she hated it.

Just what had she gotten herself into?

It’s not like she’d suffered memory loss or anything, but it was just too challenging to take her mind to that place. That place where she had been staring in the mirror at herself. Tears falling down her face. That feeling of hating and despising herself. That last message she had read on Instagram. The one that had pushed her emotions over the edge.

It was just too much.

Before she had realized it, she’d tightened and curled herself into a ball, her eyes squeezed closed. And it was in that position that she once again, drifted off into sleep.

To say that when she was woken up the next day at god knows what hour, she didn’t feel cranky or numb was an understatement. She was allowed a bathroom break, but not a shower, for reasons she was told would be explained to her later; and was given little time to even wake up before she was whisked away to breakfast. She also wasn’t allowed to wear shoes, but they had provided her with socks, which, she was thankful for, and she’d been given a pair of dark blue scrubs to wear. 

“They can be a rowdy group, but don’t worry. Things will be better once you get to know them.” A nurse, clutching a clipboard to her chest informed her, as they walked side by side down the long, and far too white colored hallway. It was also terribly bright. 

Sam yawned, but she felt nervous. Apparently she was about to be introduced to the other people in her “unit”, as the nurse had called it. She hugged her arms around herself as she followed the nurse through a set of double doors, and into a semi-noisy recreational looking area. 

In one corner was a couple of couches, arranged in a way that they were facing a flat screen TV. There looked to be some game consoles sitting on a shelving unit next to it. In the corner opposite, there was the same set up, but with chairs instead. And rather than a TV, there were a couple of bookshelves with books on them.

In the center of the room were 2 rows of six tables. They reminded Sam of picnic tables you would find at a park, except they weren’t made of wood. They were like…plastic or something. Well, whatever they were made of, they looked extremely uncomfortable. There were groups of kids sitting at each one. A couple tables had more than others. 

Sam shifted her eyes from group to group, feeling so uncomfortable over the eyes that would land on her, and the whisperings that would graze her ear as she walked by. The nurse rounded the corner of one of the rows, and stopped at the end of the next one. 

The nurse turned to Sam with a smile, “This is your new unit, Sam.” She informed, before turning to gaze back at the rest of the people seated before her, “Kids, this is Sam.”

Sam found she didn’t really want to make eye contact with any of them. She felt so awkward and worried about all of this. She just wanted to go back home.

“She’s new here, so I expect you to welcome her with open arms.” The nurse sternly emphasized, as her eyes shot to none other than the blue haired boy Sam had seen previously. “I’m sure each of you remember how hard your first days were.”

The nurse then turned to Sam once again, and took her by the shoulders, before nudging her forward, “Go ahead sweetie, take a seat. Have some breakfast and introduce yourself. These will be the people you interact with every day during your stay here, so you should get to know them.”

Sam slowly slid her way onto the edge of one of the benches on the table, taking her seat next to a very, freakishly small girl, but she continued to avoid eye contact with anyone, and simply turned her head to face away from them.

“Alright Sam, this is the daily schedule, except for weekends which, we don’t discuss until those days.” The nurse began, after Sam was seated, and pulled up the clipboard she’d had tucked under her arm. “Breakfast is 45 minutes. Each individual unit is in charge one day a week of cleaning up after breakfast, lunch, and dinner, which includes washing and drying the dishes, sweeping the floor, and changing the trash. Our unit’s day this week was yesterday, so, you get to miss out this time around. After breakfast everyone has individual time in their room’s while Dr. Foley will see you for your separate appointments. After that is lunchtime, which goes for a half hour, and then we have group recess which is in the gym.”

As the nurse explained, Sam couldn’t help but let her eyes wander to the blue haired boy, and the boy seated directly across from her. The blue haired one was making “blah blah” motions with his hand, while the other boy nudged him subtly to try and get him to stop, although he wore a smirk on his face. She heard a couple of sighs from her right, a little further down.

“After gym, everyone returns to their rooms for 15 minutes, in which you may take your shower, before meeting back up in our unit’s classroom for study time. Your school will be gathering your assignments each week and sending them to us Sam, so that you won’t fall behind. We have study time for an hour before going to group therapy, which is conducted by this unit’s counselor, Mr. Hersh. Group therapy is also for one hour. After that we have dinner for 45 minutes, then an hour and a half of recreational time. You can spend it reading, watching TV, playing games, or just talking. After that you go back to your room and it’s lights out at 9pm.” 

To be honest, Sam wasn’t sure she was even retaining all of this information. She was still drowsy from having had to wake up so suddenly, and all she could manage to focus on was the whispered giggles and laughs of a couple of the others seated at the table with her. 

“Any questions, Sam?” the nurse asked, reaching out to lightly touch her shoulder.

Sam shook her head slightly before gazing up at the nurse and letting out a quiet, but polite, “No…thank you.”

“You’re welcome dear.” The nurse replied, before walking a couple steps over to the boy sitting across from her, “Miguel will you leave about 5 minutes before breakfast ends to show her where the gym, classroom and group therapy rooms are?”

He nodded in response, “Sure thing.” 

When his eyes shifted over to take a glance at her, she averted her gaze towards the ground. 

The nurse left, and a little bit of chatter resumed at their table, although Sam still kept to herself. A couple of moments later, a couple of workers approached, wheeling a table with them. Each of them were given a random plastic container of cereal, a carton of milk, a glass of orange juice, and a piece of fruit. They were all handed plastic spoons, except for the 2nd girl to Sam’s right, who was given a wooden one wrapped in a plastic film of some kind.

Sam eyed her breakfast warily, but made no move to eat any of it. 

The small girl seated next to her looked around shiftily for a second, before quickly tearing off the film covering of her cereal. 

“Alright, hurry up.” The blue haired boy across from her ordered, “I am not doing more disciplinary time because of you.” He scooted his own plastic bowl of cereal towards the middle of the table.

The girl immediately dumped what was in hers, into his, and he hastily pulled it back towards himself.

Miguel, rolled his eyes as he reached towards the girl, “Moon I thought you said you weren’t going to do that anymore. How do you ever expect to get better and get out of here if you don’t gain the weight you’re supposed to?”

Moon’s eyes widened slightly and she gazed at Miguel, “Promise you aren’t going to say anything.”

Miguel sighed, retracting his arm back, but continuing to gaze at her, “You know I won’t, but you can at least eat your apple, right?”

Moon’s gaze landed on the piece of fruit in front of her, “I feel sick just looking at it.”

“I’ll eat it.” The girl on the other side of Moon offered, reaching out to grab it up in her hand.

For a second, Moon looked relieved, but Miguel’s voice piped up again almost instantly.

“Aisha, no!” Miguel snapped sternly, as he finally started opening his own carton of milk, “Moon needs to eat that.”

Moon slumped, defeated, as Aisha released the apple and returned to her own meal.

Sam shifted in her seat very subtly, but very uncomfortably, before drawing the attention of Miguel. He smiled towards her, but before he could say anything at all, the blue haired boy interjected. 

“So, what are you in for?” he asked bluntly, and with a full mouth of cereal. 

Miguel immediately snapped his head in his direction, and gave him a light smack on the arm, “Dude…”

The blue haired boy looked confused, but a second later, shrugged in defense before returning to his cereal.

Miguel once again, looked at Sam, “You don’t have to answer that.” He paused, noting the look of slight relief that had washed over Sam’s face, “Hawk’s just really bad at starting conversations.”

Sam felt the slightest bit of thankfulness and offered the best smile she could in response, though it wasn’t much.

“I’m Miguel, by the way.” Miguel continued, before motioning to his left with his thumb. “He’s Eli, but he prefers you call him Hawk, even though…” he trailed off as he placed his hand on Hawk’s head and ruffled his hair, “…That ship has long sailed.”

Hawk slapped Miguel’s hand away slightly, and grumbled a bitter, “Fuck off.”

Miguel chuckled for a second, before pointing past Hawk, where a tougher looking girl was seated, “That’s Tory.”

Tory didn’t even bother looking up towards Sam at all. Rather, she just continued eating her own cereal.

“Down there at the end, that’s Robby.” 

Sam’s eyes lingered to a boy seated at the very end of the table, seemingly not wanting to be part of any of this. His head was pointed downward towards the table top and his longer bangs hung over his eyes.

“But he doesn’t talk much.” Miguel continued, “Pretty much just keeps to himself.” 

Meanwhile, Hawk had finished eating the entirety of the cereal, and he noisily slurped down the milk with no regard for manners or anyone else’s sake.

“Beside you is Moon.” Miguel indicated, before frowning towards her, “Who still hasn’t taken a bite of her apple. It’s not going to eat itself.”

Moon simply shot him an annoyed gaze back, before snatching up the apple and spitefully taking a bite of it. She slammed it back down, before folding her arms and looking away, irritated. 

Miguel smirked, but pointed past her, “And that is Aisha.”

Aisha leaned forward and peeked past Moon to give Sam a slight wave for a greeting, “Nice to meet you,” she mumbled, through a mouth full of her orange.

Tory let out a sarcastic huff from across from her, as if to make fun of the fact that Aisha bothered greeting Sam at all.

Sam felt the smile that had started to form slip back off of her face as she faced forward again, and placed her gaze back on her untouched breakfast. She really didn’t want to eat it.  
There wasn’t a rule that she had to, right?

“You don’t have to eat it if you’re not hungry.” Miguel informed, answering the question she’d been tossing in her head for her, as he gave her a smile, “I didn’t eat my first day here either.”

“Shit’s not fair.” Moon commented, picking up her apple once more and rotating it as if she were thoroughly inspecting it. 

Miguel rolled his eyes, ignoring the comment, before leaning forward over the table and looking back at Sam, “My point is, I get it. You’re new here and it’s okay to feel nervous and uncomfortable about having to sit and eat with strangers, but…” he trailed off, sitting back in his seat a little, “It’ll be okay. It gets better.”

“Hold her hand why don’t you.” Tory spat, her words like poison. She still hadn’t even bothered looking so much as in the direction Sam was sitting.

Miguel snapped his head in her direction and flopped his hand on the table top, making a slight smacking sound, “Really Tory?” he questioned sarcastically, “You’re going to start in with that shit right now?”

“Guys…” Moon then started, leaning forward slightly, one of her hands outstretched towards Miguel, the other, Tory, “There’s no reason to get upset.” She then focused her eyes on Tory, “He’s just trying to make her feel welcome. It’s okay, we’ve all been there.”

Tory shot Moon a glare before returning her attention to her food, and Moon sat back in her seat, before turning to Sam. 

“It is nice to meet you, Sam.” Moon told, giving her a reassuring smile, “Truly.”

“Thanks…” Sam finally spoke up, thankful that the seemingly tense moment had only lasted a few seconds. 

Miguel was still slightly glaring in Tory’s direction, while Hawk, however, may as well have been undressing her with his eyes, it seemed. But, she had her back turned to both of them, so, Sam supposed she probably wouldn’t have cared even if she had seen the looks they were wearing. 

“Anyway.” Miguel said, a bit annoyedly as he tore his hard stare away from Tory finally and turned back to Sam, “Just…the best thing you can do is not let this place get to you. We’re here for you, if you need us to be.”

Moon nodded along, before reaching over and grasping Sam’s hand in hers. “Yes. We all need to support each other.”

Sam didn’t quite know how to feel about Moon’s sudden actions, or how to respond to what she or Miguel were saying. How could they be so calm and seemingly content with being stuck in a place like this?

“Yeah. Speaking of support, Moon, eat your goddamn apple.” Hawk huffed, now slumped in his chair, arms folded across his chest. He looked suddenly irritated as well, and he had finished all of his own food.

Moon solemnly released Sam’s hand, and faced forward again, obviously not having taken well to the lack of kindness that Hawk had had in his voice.

“For fucking sakes you guys, she doesn’t want to eat the damn apple!” Tory belted, grabbing it, and chucking it off the table aggressively. 

It hit the floor and rolled several feet away, earning the tilted glance of one of the tall men at the door. Sam supposed they were security. She really didn’t know what else to call them. He made eye contact with Tory, before extending his arm and beckoning her with his finger.

“Why the hell would you do that? What’s your problem this morning?” Miguel fired towards her, picking back up his annoyed tone.

“My problem,” Tory began as she shifted her legs out of the bench and stood, “Is that I’m sick and tired of sitting here, with all of you stupid idiots.” She barked, slightly getting in Miguel’s face as she stormed by. 

Miguel watched as Tory stomped away. His eyes followed her as she first picked up the apple and slammed it into the trashcan, then walked out the door, one of the security in tow, and sighed heavily.  
He propped his head on one of his hands.

“Dude, just stop trying.” Hawk nudged Miguel with his elbow, “The girl is chaos.”

“Yeah, yeah…I know.” Miguel sighed back.

Sam listened quietly, feeling unfit to really comment or say anything on the matter at all.

She spent some more time observing each of them, although she still avoided eye contact the best she could. They seemed like they did get along in a sense, though Sam couldn’t make up her mind whether it was genuine, or the frenemy sort. And what Miguel had said about Robby seemed to be the truth. He hadn’t spoken a word to anyone. The only reaction, in fact he’d had at all to anyone at the table, was when Hawk had thrown a few stray pieces of dry cereal at his head. Robby had simply glared dangerously in Hawk’s direction, which had only made the louder and more prouder boy laugh in response. The exchange stopped there when Miguel leaned over to whisper something in Hawk’s ear, causing him to smirk. They laughed for a second between themselves, before Miguel turned to face Sam.

“Alright, you want to get out of here?” Miguel questioned, gathering up his trash and standing up from his seat.

Sam wordlessly stood from hers as well, and Miguel turned for a second to bid the rest of the unit farewell. “I’ll see you ladies in gym.” 

This caused a humorous glare to come out of Hawk, but before he could retort, Aisha and Moon had turned to gaze at Sam.

“See you later Sam.” Aisha told, while Moon offered a wave.

“Yeah.” Sam replied simply, also waving back. “See you.”

She spun on her heel and continued following Miguel. They stopped at the door only long enough for Miguel to inform the men posted there that he was on “tour duty” and one of them nodded, so the two of them could pass.

Once they were out in the hall, Sam let out a deep breath she had been holding in. She felt so much better to have finally gotten out of that situation. Not that it had been all bad. Moon and Aisha seemed really nice, and Miguel of course had been quite charming already. She wasn’t sure how to feel about the rest of them yet though. Robby, she had no sense of what to think, and Hawk was…well…maybe he’d grow on her. She didn’t know. Tory however, had just seemed angry that entire time, and not friendly at all. Her aggression had casted a really tense feeling on the entirety of things. Sam wondered if she was always like that or if she was just having a bad day. 

“I know what you’re thinking.”

Miguel’s voice interrupted her from her thoughts, and she turned her head to face him. “You do?”

“Yeah.” Miguel replied, smiling at her as he looked down and nodded a bit, before flailing his hands around humorously, “It’s like…these people are all crazy, how the hell am I supposed to interact with them, time to start plotting my escape. Run!”

For the first time since she’d arrived, Sam felt like she wanted to laugh a little bit. Just the way he had delivered those words and the motions he had done with his hands while doing them had given her a slight moment of happiness. Maybe she still hadn’t gotten enough sleep, and she was slap happy. Who really knew.

“Something like that I suppose.” She answered him, and he turned his smile on her once more.

“I totally get it.” Miguel responded, facing forward as they turned a corner of the hallway, “I mean, we all have our moments. Some are worse than others, but, I meant it when I said it makes it easier to have friends.” His smile then slipped away a bit as he held up his arms again, “Otherwise you feel suffocated, and like the walls are closing in on you.” He looked at her, “You will definitely benefit from the social interaction more than you’d think.”

“What about all of the rest of the kids at the other tables?” Sam then pondered, as it’d been on her mind as to why she hadn’t been introduced to more people.

“Oh, you don’t need to worry about them. The only time you ever see any of them is during meals. They aren’t part of our group therapy or gym time. They won’t be in our classroom either. Each unit has their own private space in here, so to speak.” He informed, as he stopped and held out a hand in a gesture, motioning her to move ahead of him.

Sam walked into a room lined with 7 desks. There were two rows of three, then one loner in the back. Each one had a name on it. The first row was Aisha, Miguel, and Tory. The second row had Robby, Moon, then Hawk. And well…she supposed the loner in the back was going to be her. 

“So this is the classroom.” Miguel stated, following in behind her. “The only hour of the day that we get in trouble for talking.”

Miguel perched himself on the corner of his desk and folded his arms, as Sam made her way to the desk in the back and ran the tips of her fingers over its surface.

“Why is that?” Sam questioned, gazing at him for a split second before making her way the rest of the way around the desk.

Miguel shrugged, “Well I guess they figure that education is just as important as recovery, even though I think it’s more important to recover first, so that we have the will and want to even care about education in the first place.”

“Hm, yeah…” Sam frowned, as she headed back towards the front of the room. 

Miguel stood back up from where he was propped, and the two of them headed back out of the door and into the hallway.

They were quiet for a couple of seconds, and Sam was surprised to see Miguel flirtaciously greet one of the nurses as she passed them.  
“Lookin’ good there, Nurse Mon.” Miguel told, pointing both his fingers at her and turning in her direction slightly as the now, subtly blushing nurse simply smiled and kept going.

“Nurse Mon?” Sam quizzed, grabbing Miguel’s attention once more.

“Oh, yeah. Well, her name is actually Monica.” Miguel explained, as they continued down the hall, “She used to be on our floor, until she got transferred to pre-teen.” He then frowned a bit, “I kind of miss her, to be honest. She was the nurse that took care of me when I first got here.”

“Oh…” Sam replied quietly, turning her eyes to the floor, and she watched her feet moving for a moment, “Um…so, how long have you been here?”

Miguel gazed in her direction, his eyes looking slightly playful and a small grin on his face, before facing forward again. This caused Sam to feel like maybe she’d overstepped already. Just great.

“I’m…sorry I didn’t mean to pry.” Sam immediately informed, hugging her arms around herself and rubbing her hands on them anxiously.

Miguel looked at her and laughed a bit, “No, it’s okay, relax. I don’t – I didn’t mean to make you feel bad for asking the question, it’s just that…your voice is so shy and sweet.”

Sam blinked a couple of times, but didn’t make a move to look in his direction. How was she supposed to respond to something like that? Typically a ‘thank you’ would be enough, but she didn’t know this guy. Was he just messing with her or something? 

Miguel noted the frown on her face and instantly moved in front of her, his hands up in defense, “No, no, please don’t take that the wrong – um…shit…” he cursed, putting a fist to his forehead as he closed his eyes for a second, before looking at her again, “I didn’t mean that in a bad way or anything, or…even, you know…to make fun of you? I just…” he let out a deep breath, giving up totally on his defense, and settling to just tell the truth. “I like it.” He then motioned towards her slightly, and seemingly nervously, “Your voice…I like your voice.” He felt his cheeks burning a little, and even though he knew he should have probably shut up long ago, he continued anyway, “It’s…calming.”

Sam watched as Miguel closed his eyes again and seemed to be mentally kicking himself over the entirety of this exchange. She really couldn’t help but smile towards him now. She had known him for roughly an hour, but yet, he’d already made so much effort just to make her feel comfortable, and she couldn’t fault him for that.

“Thank you.” Sam finally said with a smile, and Miguel looked so relieved to know she hadn’t taken what he’d said to her the wrong way.

Miguel offered her a nod and a bashful smile in response, mentally forbidding himself from saying another word about it. He can’t believe the ridiculous bumbling jackass he’d just managed to turn into. And it took him a couple of seconds to recompose himself, and for the heat to leave his cheeks, although they’d already started walking again.

Sam gazed away from him, and towards the wall, having a really hard time to get the bright smile on her face, to leave it. The Miguel she had seen for just that minute was a different one from the cafeteria. Even different from the ‘tour guide’ and ‘flirt with the nurse’ one, too. It seemed vulnerable, sweet, and sensitive. She couldn’t help but be drawn to it.

“2 and a half months.” Miguel finally answered, and Sam noticed he had shed the nerves from his voice that had previously been there.

She blinked over towards him. 2 and a half months? That was such a long time to be in one place. For a facility that was supposed to help you feel better, and heal from whatever problems you were facing in life, being locked away like this for that kind of time seemed like it should serve more to drive people further into crazy than pull them out of it.

No way she could last that long. She just needed to hold out until she could see her parents again. Surely they wouldn’t come see her to just visit, without taking her home, right?

“Whoa, wait.”

She’d heard his voice, but she was too lost in thought to stop her feet from moving. That’s when she felt a gentle but firm grip on the back of her shirt, that stopped her from continuing forward.

She looked back at him, still slightly dazed, and he released his handful of her shirt.

“This is the gym.” He informed, pointing at the open doorway.

“Right.” Sam replied, stepping back towards him, “Sorry.”

She walked in to the open space to see a very small miniature set of bleachers on one end. There was a volleyball net over the center of the small court, and one basketball goal at one end as well. 

“It’s pretty small for a gym, huh?” Sam questioned, walking a little ways out onto the slick, wooden floor.

“Eh, it’s only for small groups, so I guess they figured they could save money that way. Plus, how would they fit a regular sized court into one of these rooms?” Miguel followed up with a question of his own.

Sam contemplated this for only a second, before nodding, “That’s a good point.”

It made sense. Even though it was a larger room than your typical standard one, it still wouldn’t make sense to put an actual, full to scale gym into a hospital. Especially if it was only going to be used by 7 people at a time.

The tour continued, with them heading back in the direction of the patient rooms this time, and Sam’s body shivered slightly when they passed underneath a vent.

“You’ll get used to that too.” Miguel told, having not missed her slight shake from the cold, “Although Moon never has.” He then leaned towards her, cupping a hand over one side of his mouth as if he were about to tell a secret, and spoke in a loud whisper, “But that’s probably because she weighs about as much as a 5th grader.”

Sam felt a sense of sadness rush over her at the information Miguel had just revealed. Then she recounted the behavior Moon had displayed during breakfast, and it clicked for her. Things must really be hard on someone like Moon. To struggle so much with something like that. 

“Don’t worry too much, she’s hanging in there.” Miguel then stated, and Sam noticed that every time she seemingly drifted away in her thoughts, it’s almost like Miguel could hear them. He’d always respond as if he’d actually been able to read her mind. “Besides, you’re in this now too, and whatever it is that brought you here is just as important as any of our issues.” 

Sam suddenly felt so stupid. Here were kids with real issues and real struggles, and she’d landed herself in here over what? Some stupid Instagram comment that had told her she should kill herself?  
Well…it hadn’t been just one. It had been a lot.  
And one can only take hearing that so much before just finally breaking down and giving in.  
Still, her ridiculous need for approval from others her age was nothing in comparison, she’d bet.

“And finally, Miss Sam, the last stop on our tour…” Miguel announced, shuffling up to another open door and stopping, waiting for her to enter first. “The group therapy room.”

Sam brushed past him, all the while taking note that this room was located just down the hall from her own. She walked through the door. There were a bunch of chairs arranged in a circle in the middle. And that was pretty much the gist of it, beside a couple of fake plants sitting in the corners, and a water dispenser.

“It feels so…empty in here.” Sam commented, gazing up at the ceiling and then the wall. Pure white, just like the rest of this place.

Miguel propped himself against the doorframe and crossed one of his legs over the other, slumping down just a bit, “Yeah, but it doesn’t feel the same with everyone in here together. And our counselor is pretty good about keeping conversation going.”

Sam felt a bit nervous at the idea of everyone sitting in a circle, sharing their innermost secrets with each other, “We don’t…have to talk, do we?” she looked over at Miguel as she gripped the back of one of the chairs. 

“Well, eventually Mr. Hersh is going to want you to participate somehow.” Miguel replied, his eyes wandering around the room slightly as well, “But I can see him taking it easy on you. At least for the first week or so.”

Miguel could tell that what he’d just said, didn’t make Sam feel any more better about the matter. He frowned, and searched for something, anything in his head – any kind of response he might be able to offer her, to make her feel okay. “Look, Sam…” he started, popping up from his position on the door frame and taking a couple of steps in the room.

Sam had turned towards him slightly, but had resumed to hugging her arms around her body, seemingly defensively this time, rather than the fact that she was just cold.

“I know that we just met.” Miguel started, his voice slightly lowered now, as if he wanted no one else in the world to hear what he was about to say to her, “And you have no reason to trust me, or take my word for anything, but…”

Sam felt her eyes starting to water ever so slightly. It was the most she had been able to conjure up since she’d woken up in this place.

“You really are going to be okay. You’re going to get through this.” Miguel said to her, in a voice so sincere and so reassuring, that Sam really didn’t feel like she had any other choice but to believe it.

So maybe she would be okay. Maybe she would get through this. But that wasn’t going to make the process any easier. She was going to have to deal with being separated from her family, not being able to sleep in her own bed, or even taking a walk in the outside world. She was literally stuck inside of these walls, until the doctor deemed her fit to handle reality once more.  
What had she done?

She couldn’t stop herself from squeezing out a few tears. “I’m scared…”

Miguel let out a heavy, but sympathetic sigh. “I know…” He actually really wanted to step forward and hug her. She looked like she really needed one, but he was struggling over the fact that a gesture like that might be inappropriate, considering how fragile her state of mind probably was, and the fact that they didn’t really know each other. 

Still, he couldn’t just do nothing. So, reluctant over whether this would be too much too fast or not, he stepped forward, and put a hand on her shoulder, before giving it a very gentle squeeze. “It’s okay.”  
Sam nodded towards him, tearfully. She really did appreciate the comfort, even though in the long run she wasn’t sure what good it would do.

They both stood like this for a few more seconds, until Miguel heard Sam minimizing her sobs, and watched her wiping the tears off of her face.

“You okay?” he asked, leaning down slightly to see if he could catch her eyes, and still not sure if her moment of emotion had truly subsided or not.

She nodded once more, “Yeah.” She replied tiredly, finishing off her tears with one last wipe of her cheek before folding her arms again.

“Cause it’s okay if you’re not, I mean…” Miguel began, stealing a glance over his shoulder, “I would stay here with you for as long as you needed, seriously, but…” he took another glance over his shoulder before leaning in slightly and speaking in that loud whisper he’d had earlier, “If it takes too long, they’re gonna come looking for us. And on your first day here, that’s a sure fire way of earning yourself a tail from one of those big grumpy men you saw at the door to the cafeteria room this morning.” He then took her other shoulder in his hand as well, and he could see that a small smile was starting to play on her lips once more, although she was shyly avoiding eye contact, “Trust me. It’s super awkward when one of those guys stands outside your bathroom while you pee.”

Sam giggled a bit at this, her last sob coming out in the process, “Okay.”

“Alright?” Miguel coaxed, releasing her shoulders as he took a baby step toward the door, although he was still turned towards her.

“Yeah.” Sam nodded, smiling as she headed for the door as well. 

After they left, Sam had pretty much recovered from her brief spell of emotion and turned to Miguel before he could get too far from her, “Thank you for the tour. If you weren’t in here, you’d probably be out there making quite a killing at showing houses.”

Miguel smirked, but also let his shoulders slump in a humorous manner as he closed his eyes.

Sam smiled, as he pointed a finger towards her and began stepping away down the hall, backwards, “I’m gonna take that as a compliment, for my own sake, of course.”

She giggled as she watched him turn on his heel and keep on his way. 

He rounded the corner to – what Sam assumed was his room – swinging himself in with a wide turn as if he knew she was still watching him.

It was just in time for Aisha to be coming out of hers, only a door down from her own. She was being accompanied by the nurse that had escorted her to breakfast that morning.

“Miss LaRusso you should be waiting in your room for your appointment, okay?” the nurse instructed, and Aisha offered Sam a sort of smile as they passed her by.

“Okay.” Sam replied, before turning to head back to her room.

She had almost fallen asleep when the nurse came to collect her and escort her to her appointment, and she had passed by Tory in the hallway on her way there. She was wearing the same hard stare on her face as she had been during breakfast.

“Ah, Samantha. Welcome back. How are you feeling today?” Dr. Foley greeted her, as she walked into the room and took a seat in front of the desk.

“Fine I guess.” Sam replied with a shrug, as she minimized a yawn as much as possible. 

“Nurse Lowry tells me you met the rest of your unit today.” Dr. Foley then continued, pulling a folder from his desk drawer and opening it up. He laid it out on the top of the desk and stared at it for a very brief second before looking back up again, “How did that go for you?”

“Okay.” Sam said, with another shrug as well. 

“They’re an interesting bunch, once you get to know them.” Dr. Foley stated, leaning back in his chair now, and taking out a pad with a pen. 

“So I’ve been told.” Sam responded, shifting in her seat as well.

“How have you been feeling today?” Dr. Foley questioned, peering over at her from the other side of the desk intently, “Have you still been feeling drowsy? Tired?”

“I think so.” Sam answered, and she pulled her knees up in her chair and hugged them to her chest, “I don’t know, I guess I haven’t really been feeling much of anything yet…just you know…wondering when I’m going to get to go home.”

“It’s completely normal for you to still have some lingering feelings of being tired and drowsy.” Dr. Foley informed her, taking a very brief second to scribble something onto his note pad, “But I expect that when you wake up tomorrow morning, you’ll be feeling much better.”

“Great.” Sam replied, though, she could really care less about the fact he’d responded to that part of her statement, and seemingly ignored the other.

Dr. Foley sighed at the sound of her unenthusiastic response, as he folded his arms, and leaned up onto the desk. “It’s also normal for you to be concerned about when you’re going to get to go home, but I’m afraid Samantha, that that depends solely on you.”

Sam frowned towards him, “What do you mean?”

“Well it’s my job to help you work through any and every issue that led to your decision to try and take your own life.” Dr. Foley said, once again leaning back in his chair, and this time bobbing it a couple of times when he did, “And make sure that when you leave, you’re strong enough that no matter what happens in the future, you’ll avoid turning to that for a solution instead.”

Sam huffed, as she ran a hand through her hair, “But I told you yesterday that what I did was just a mistake. A misunderstanding.” She defended, and it upset her slightly to see that Dr. Foley was scribbling in his note pad again, “Look, it was just a stupid, heat of the moment type thing, but I have no intention of trying to kill myself.”

“What makes you so sure of that?” Dr. Foley quizzed, studying Sam’s expressions as she prepared to defend herself once more.

“Because I think I know myself well enough to know that I was just caught up in something somebody had said.” Sam explained, her tone now slightly calming just a little bit as her eyes shifted from him to the top of his desk, “It’s just kids talking, and I let myself get too wound up in my emotions about it.” She then landed her eyes on him again, holding a hand out as if to emphasize her next point, “I learned my lesson.”

“So…” Dr. Foley started again, crossing one leg over the other, but never turning his head away from her, “What led you to your decision the other night was that, somebody had said something about you?”

“Yes.” Sam answered back pointedly, truthfully, “So you see how ridiculous that is.”

“Not necessarily.” Dr. Foley then stated, instantly shutting down any feeling she may have been getting that he was in agreement with her about this, “You know, back when I was in high school, there were plenty of so called “bullies” that would rear their ugly heads at unfortunate students now and then.” He told, now standing from his chair entirely, and taking his glasses off his head, “The difference between my generation and this one, however…” he trailed off, as he rounded the edge of the desk and took a seat on the corner of it, “We didn’t have the internet.”

Sam eyed him warily, and kept her head turned towards him passively.

“There was no, anonymous playground for the people who truly wanted to be vicious and savage enough that, they could influence someone to take their own life, and get away with it.” Dr. Foley continued on, “That’s not to say that, face-to-face bullying doesn’t still occur. It does, and too often. However…” he then deadpanned such a serious stare at Sam, that she couldn’t help but meet his eyes, “It’s the words that truly stick with us. Break us down. Defeat us.”

Sam felt vulnerable, and uncomfortable with his words, and just how hard they’d hit her insides. The words…yes. She could remember the relentless, ruthless words that had been contained in that message, the ones that people who she though were her friends had said to her. The words that had followed her home from school every day, that haunted her dreams at night. The taunting and the rumors that had shaped her identity at school, and eventually driven her to close herself off to everyone there in an attempt to protect herself. 

“Where are you right now, Sam?” Dr. Foley then asked, interrupting her from her thoughts. “What’s going through your head?”

She hadn’t even heard him return to his seat behind his desk. She blinked a couple of times, snapping herself out of the daze she’d been in as she gripped the arm rests of the chair and let her feet slink back onto the floor. “Um…”

She remembered the notes that had started showing up in her locker everyday. The ones that proclaimed she was a whore, and a slut, and good for nothing but opening her legs to every male who asked her to. She remembered when she’d had to stop taking the bus home, because the whispers and laughs shared between people as they’d gaze at her from the corners of their eyes had become too much. She remembered how uncomfortable it had gotten for her to simply walk down the hall between classes, because it was starting to get out of control just how many guys were grabbing her ass, or making passes at her. 

_“Going to the counselor or your parents is like…social suicide, and a pussy move for sure. You’ll just make things worse.”_

One of her former friends had said that to her. Just before starting a rumor that she’d gone down on a freshman because it was his birthday. 

“Talk to me, Samantha.” Dr. Foley urged, once again, startling her out of her mental hell she had really started to sink into, “The longer it stays in here,” he paused, pointing to his own temple, “The longer it continues to have power over you, and influence over your decisions and state of mind.”

“I’m sorry, I…”

_“Hey, how about a blowjob, Samantha? Your daddy never has to know. Don’t worry about that. It’s not like you’re good for much else. You should be honored I even asked such a pass around whore in the first place.”_

She felt her eyes starting to burn, and her chest getting heavy. She did her best just to breathe, but, she felt like no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t find any real air. 

“Samantha, are you feeling alright? Talk to me.”

_“You know what Sam? Just fucking kill yourself already. You’d be doing me, the school, hell, the entire world a huge favor.”_

Her grasp on the arm rest of the chair tightened, and her desperation to make all the voices in her head stop, deepened. She turned her head to look at the doctor, her eyes filling up with tears as she choked out an, “I can’t…” she heaved a deep breath in, “I can’t do this, I can’t breathe.”

But before she’d finished barely getting out those words, the doctor had already headed for the door, and summoned the nurse inside. 

_“If I were her, I would have already ended it years ago. No way her parents can be proud of a child like her. They probably cry themselves to sleep at night just thinking about it.”_

Sam pounded her hands over her ears, clenching her eyes shut and letting out a loud scream. 

She felt a pair of hands encircle around one of her arms and attempt to pull it away from her ear, but she resisted, and before long, she was screaming at everyone around her to “let go” of her and to “make them stop”. 

She seen the face of Nurse Lowry, her eyes full of concern. She was mouthing something to her, but all Sam could hear was the ringing in her ears, and the chants of “slut” pounding against the inner walls of her head. 

“Just give her a small dose.” Came the muffled sound of the doctor’s voice.

She felt a slight, sharp sting in her arm, and then, suddenly, the voices and the ringing started to fade. She felt a little feint for a moment, but only for a moment, as Nurse Lowry helped her back into her seat.

“Do you feel alright, Samantha?” 

She barely made out the words, but her breathing slowed down, to the point where she felt like she was getting air again.

Dr. Foley crouched at her side, “You had a panic attack, but we’ve given you something to help relax you and assist with your breathing.”

“Wha…” Sam responded, exasperated as she turned to find where he was. Her hand felt around at the arm rest again, but she felt like she was grasping at almost nothing.

“Have the voices stopped?” Dr. Foley questioned, raising his tone a little bit so he was sure she could hear him.

“What?” Sam asked, blinking towards him, her eyes watery as she did her best to focus in on the image of his face.

“The voices.” Dr. Foley clarified once more, “Can you still hear them?”

“I…” Sam turned away once more, as she focused instead now on an object sitting on his desk. She flexed her fingers in and out, trying to hone in on the texture of the arm of the chair, “No…”

“Okay…” Dr. Foley trailed off, as he stood from her side and made his way back around to his chair.

He sat down in it and began making notes on his note pad once more, while Sam just did her best to keep her thoughts concentrated on any one thing at all. 

She could hear herself breathing, in and out, and in and out, until even the loudness of that, started to fade.

“I’m sending you back to your room to rest.” Dr. Foley addressed her once more, and she gazed over to look at him, and simply nodded a few times in response.

Nurse Lowry helped her stand up from the chair, but she no longer felt as if her feet were numb, and stabilized herself after just a couple of wobbles.

“I recommend you eat your full lunch today. The fact that you were so lightheaded after such a small dose of sedative suggests to me that you skipped your breakfast. It’s very important that you eat at least something, at every meal Samantha, and then something like that wouldn’t have felt as scary as it did.” The doctor explained, before motioning to the nurse that she could leave, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Nurse Lowry assisted her all the way back to her room, until she shakily felt at the edges of her bed, before climbing onto it. She crawled into it, and then fell completely still almost instantly. 

She heard Nurse Lowry tell her she’d be back to get her for lunch, before leaving the room.

But Sam didn’t have the energy to respond, or even make herself more comfortable on the bed. All she could do in that moment, was blankly stare at the wall.


	2. The Kind Of Adorable Octopus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic starts out fairly mild, but will get into some darker territory as time goes. If anyone reading this is sensitive to this kind of content, then this story may not be for you.
> 
> National Suicide Prevention Hotline : 1-800-273-8255

The sound of a whistle being blown in the hallway by Nurse Lowry alerted unit 4 that is was lunch time. They trickled out of their rooms one by one, Miguel immediately striking up conversation with Hawk, while Robby trailed the furthest behind.  
Aisha took this opportunity to walk beside Sam, on their way to the cafeteria.

“Hi.” Aisha greeted her, as she rounded the corner out of her room.

“Hi.” Sam replied, offering a small smile to the girl that’d joined her side. She was slightly taller than Sam, which intimidated her a little, but she had a kind expression on her face.

“Sorry we didn’t get to talk more during breakfast.” Aisha told, and it was now that Sam first realized, that her particular pair of scrubs had long sleeves. “I didn’t sleep very well last night, so I was a bit out of sorts.”

“Oh.” Sam answered back, tearing her gaze away from the long sleeves of Aisha’s scrub shirt and looking forward, “Don’t worry about it, I understand.”

“I know how horrible being here can feel at times,” Aisha then continued, “So I just wanted to let you know that if you ever need to talk, you can with me.”

Before Sam could thank Aisha for her kindness, she felt an arm sling around her shoulder.

“Ladies.” Miguel greeted playfully, his arms draped over both Aisha and Sam as he leaned in to the conversation. “How are we this afternoon?”

Aisha huffed playfully in response, “Apparently not as good as you.” She then turned to him, and laughed a bit as his jaw dropped expression, “I swear you’re like, the most natural source of caffeine I’ve ever known.”

Miguel allowed his arms to slide off the shoulders of the girls as he turned on Aisha, offended, “Hey, it’s not my fault I have energy. You just wish you were this lucky.”

“Like a hole in the head.”

“Yeah? Well I think you’re jealous. Not even this place can contain this much raw charm and adrenaline.”

“Charm? I’ve seen paper bags blowing in the wind down the street with more charm than you.”

Miguel gasped deeply, as he brought his hand to his chest, and the playful argument between them continued.

Sam couldn’t help but smile at the exchange. They seemed really sweet with each other, and it was like neither one of them wanted to let the other have the last word. 

As they continued to ramble on next to her, she could faintly hear words being exchanged between Hawk and Moon behind her. 

“Just quit bitching about it and eat, then. I feel like we have this conversation every day.”

“And I feel like I have to remind you constantly that it’s not that easy. How many different ways do I have to explain it to you, for you to understand?”

“It’s literally food, Moon.”

“You know? You can be really dense sometimes.”

“Is that codeword for ‘let’s fuck tonight’?”

Moon let out a frustrated groan, while Hawk merely chuckled at her teasingly.

Sam felt bad for having eavesdropped on what was probably supposed to be a conversation just for them, and she returned her listening attention to the two beside her.

“You know I could kick your ass, right?”

“Aisha…” Miguel quipped, closing his eyes and shaking his head, “I would love to see you try.”

The two of them laughed a bit more at each other, before the subject shifted.

“I wonder what we’re having today.” Aisha pondered, and Miguel put on a contemplative face.

“Hmm, yeah, outlook unclear.” He replied, with narrow and concentrated eyes, before adding, “But as long as it’s not the sliced turkey, we’re safe.”

“Oh, yeah.” Aisha told, leaning forward past Miguel slightly, with an arm outstretched towards Sam, “You want to avoid the sliced turkey at all costs Sam.”

Sam turned to face Aisha with a questioning gaze.

“No joke, every single one of us has taken turns puking over that.” Aisha then informed, before retracting back.

“Can confirm.” Miguel then added, nodding along.

Sam blinked towards them a couple of times, not being able to help herself from wondering just what was so particular about the sliced turkey, that would result in every one of them getting sick. But, at the end of the day, she supposed she should take the advice. “Good to know. Thanks for the heads up.”

The group made their way into the semi-noisy cafeteria. They were the last ones to arrive, and everyone ended up taking the same seats they’d had that morning at breakfast.

Beef with broccoli was on the menu for that afternoon, served with a small bowl of rice on the side, a few slices of mandarin orange, and a fortune cookie.

Moon looked to gag when her serving was sat in front of her, and Sam spent a couple of seconds poking at the food with her fork, while the others seemed to be eating it with minimal complaint. Everyone that is, except Aisha, who had once again been given a wooden spoon with plastic film covering it.

Sam watched as she frustratingly attempted to scoop at her oranges and rice with the less than ideal utensil. 

After one more attempt at scooping her rice, in which it all slid off the slick spoon, Aisha slammed it down on the table, and let out a frustrated noise.

She earned the gazes of pretty much everyone at the table, but Hawk just let out a laugh.

“Fucking take this.” Tory snapped, tossing her plastic fork in the direction of Aisha.

“Tory…” Miguel warned, his eyes on Aisha as he noted the look in them.

“Seriously Miguel?” Tory argued aggressively, “Who gives a shit?!”

Aisha blinked towards the pronged utensil on the table, now resting beside her food. She began to slowly run her hands up and down her pant legs underneath the table as she stared at it.

Miguel wanted to keep arguing, but was more concerned now with Aisha, who hadn’t so much as blinked since her eyes had landed on the fork. “Aisha…” he warned, stretching a hand in her direction, “It’s okay.” He then turned his face to Hawk, “Dude, get that shit away from her.”

“Why?” Hawk questioned in return, taking another bite of his food, “It’s not like she can do anything in here. Besides, now she can quit throwing a tantrum.”

“That’s not – “ Miguel started, but cut himself off, before taking a sharp inhale of breath. Just what in the hell was wrong with everyone today?? He stood up and leaned over the table as far as he could. It was enough. He snatched the fork away, before sitting back down and turning on Hawk again, “That’s not the point and you know it.”

“Alright, dude. Chill.” Hawk responded, but used a free hand to wave it off like it was no big deal.

Miguel blinked towards him in disbelief, but then turned back to Aisha, who was still rubbing her hands up and down her legs. Her eyes hadn’t left the spot where the fork had just been. Moon was now rubbing her back and doing her best to console her, while Sam was just watching in curious horror.

“Aisha it’s gone, don’t worry about it.” Moon worded gently, before she shot Miguel a desperate gaze.

Miguel took his cue, and immediately got up from his seat, wandering around the table to where Aisha sat. He grasped her shoulders in his hands, and leaned over to try and get her to look at him, “Yeah, Aisha, look at me, hey.”

It took a couple of attempts, but Aisha soon blinked herself out of her trance, and turned her head to Miguel.

“Hey, here.” Miguel continued, grabbing up her spoon in one of his hands. He held it in front of her, “Take it.”

Aisha stopped the excessive rubbing motions and slowly reached up to take the spoon. She gazed around, like she was confused, “What?” she then turned to look at Miguel again, “Is everything okay?”

Miguel gave her a smile, “Everything’s okay.” He patted her on the back, and stood back up.

Before heading back to his own seat, Miguel took the time to shoot Tory a rather hard glare. 

Tory’s eyes met him, but this time, instead of firing out an insult or hard staring back, she seemed to somewhat submit, and she gazed back down at her food.

Miguel let out a heavy sigh as he shuffled back on to the bench. Meanwhile, Aisha had turned back to struggling with her food, but it’s like whatever had just happened, hadn’t.

Moon had stabbed a piece of her beef with her own fork, and she was holding it up in front of her face, as if she were inspecting it – just like she had done with the apple that morning at breakfast.  
Before she had a chance to really do anything, Hawk reached out and seized her wrist, pulling the fork to his own mouth and eating the piece of beef off of it. Moon looked at him gratefully, and he just simply smirked at her in return.

Miguel rolled his eyes and decided he was done with everyone’s shit for today. He peered across the table at Sam.

Sam felt his eyes on her, and so she gave him a small smile, before eating a piece of the broccoli from her own plate. They spent a couple of moments silently stealing glances at one another, which wasn’t going unnoticed by a couple of others seated at the table. 

“So Sam?” Moon then interrupted the little moment between Miguel and Sam, as she turned slightly towards her, “What high school are you from?”

“Oh, um,” Sam started, as she put down her fork and turned slightly towards Moon as well, “I go to West Valley.”

“Oh really??” Moon asked in an almost excited tone, “I have some friends that go there! Do you know a girl named Yasmine?”

Sam felt the smile slowly slipping from her face, though she still managed to nod in reply, “Yeah, I mean…I know who she is, but…we’re not really friends.”

“Oh? That’s a shame!” Moon expressed, putting a hand on Sam’s shoulder, “You should really try talking to her sometime, she’s pretty great! We met through a mutual friend, and on the weekends we usually hang out and go to the mall or whatever…”  
Moon continued talking a million miles per minute, but her voice had started fading away as Sam began drifting in her thoughts.

Yasmine. 

_“Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut!”_

Yeah, Sam remembered that she was at the front of the line, the day most of the cafeteria had been chanting the words ‘slut’ towards her.

Thankfully, Sam was immediately pulled back out of her thoughts whenever Moon once again, put a hand on her shoulder. “I’ve been begging my parents to let me transfer, but they don’t want to move just so I’d be in the same school district. I think I’m wearing them down, though. Maybe we’ll be fellow classmates in the future!”

Sam’s expression was a bit unenthused, but she still did her best to smile and nod at Moon. No way she was going to match the sudden energy of the girl, however.

“Oh, and also!” Moon continued, before reaching an arm towards Hawk, “You know Hawk used to go there too!” she exclaimed, earning a glare from Hawk. Clearly he hadn’t wanted to be dragged into this discussion, “Well, before his mom pulled him out and put him in alternative school. But maybe one day he’ll be back and we could all take classes together! Wouldn’t that be great?”

“Um, yeah, sure…” Sam replied, her eyes lingering over to Hawk, who was literally just glaring at Moon silently.

“Hey, Moon. Anyone ever tell you that you have a small body but a big fat ugly mouth?” Hawk spat.

The smile and energy that Moon had had, immediately left her as she turned to face forward, looking ashamed.

“Yeah.” Hawk continued, not showing her any mercy, “That’s right. It’s _fat_. And _ugly_. If only there were a way for it to starve instead.”

Sam narrowed her eyes towards Hawk, while Miguel turned to him, “Dude, what are you doing? Stop.”

Hawk shrugged him off and unsympathetically continued to glare at Moon, “Well maybe she wouldn’t have to hear those things if she wouldn’t be running her mouth in the first place.” He then focused his attention back on the little food he had left on his plate.

Sam felt really bad for Moon. It looked like she might cry. No telling how she must be feeling. 

Just what kind of relationships were these, really? 

One minute, Hawk and Moon seemed like they were into each other, sharing food and flirtacious looks – the next Hawk was at her throat, tearing her down and making her feel horrible.

Miguel and Tory seemed to behave strangely with each other too. It was all attitude and aggression until one of them wasn’t looking at the other. Then they would just stare at each other with sadness, almost longing.

Aisha seemed pretty great, but what exactly was it that had caused her to seize up and almost lose herself earlier? Sam was confused over what had really happened with that in the first place. A fork? What?

Maybe Robby was the one taking the high road after all. Keeping to himself, not getting involved. Not participating in any conversation at all, meant it also kept him out of it when things seemed to get tense.

And even though it was the first day, Sam was starting to believe it was inevitable that conversations between these people would get tense at some point no matter what.

She frowned, and focused back on her food, deciding not to look or talk to any of them for the rest of lunch.

“Alright, boys vs girls you guys! Get your asses out on the court!”

“Eli!” Nurse Lowry shouted firmly, her eyes landing on the boy with blue hair who was tossing a volleyball between his two hands, as he looked over at her as well. “I don’t know how many times I have to say it, but, please try to refrain from using that kind of language.”

“And I’ve told you before, that there’s nothing wrong with the word ass.” Hawk responded, holding out his arms, “I mean, we all have them.” He then turned his head towards Tory, giving her a wry smirk, “Some nicer than others.”

Tory gave him a suggestive smile in return, while Moon pretended to ignore what was going on. Hawk turned to Miguel almost victoriously, while Miguel just shook his head with a smile, and snatched the ball from him. Robby seemed unphased, standing at the back of the court with his arms crossed. Aisha had laughed a little bit too at what Hawk had said. Everyone knew he wasn’t one to take any kind of authority seriously, and he always had a comeback. 

Sam awkwardly waited at the very edge of the court.

Nurse Lowry had exited the room, and the two security members that had been posted at the door for breakfast and lunch, were now at the gym door as well.

“Sam, come, get in here!” Miguel shouted to her, waving her in with an arm.

“Uh, no.” Tory piped in instantly, walking up to the center by the net and shooting a brief gaze towards Sam before her eyes shifted to Miguel, “It would be uneven odds.”

Miguel blinked towards her before emitting a ‘pshh’ sound, “Like that even matters.”

“Yeah,” Hawk intervened, keeping his eyes glued on Tory as she rolled her eyes and folded her arms, “You’ll lose regardless.”

Miguel sighed, before holding up his free hand towards her, the volleyball tucked securely under his other arm, “If you’re so worried about it, why don’t you sit this one out? It’s Sam’s first day. She should be a part of this.”

Tory stood silently glaring at Miguel, before looking over at Sam with disgust. She then stormed off the court and took a seat on the small bleachers. 

Everyone left on the court then looked towards Sam, who felt intimidated by the situation immediately. She held up both her hands, “Oh, I don’t have to – “ she cut herself off, before starting again, “I mean, I wouldn’t want to intrude on – “

During her list of excuses, Miguel had smiled towards her, and jogged over to the edge of the court. 

“Nonsense.” He interrupted, taking her hand and pulling her a little ways out onto the court, “Look, these girls need you.”

Robby watched the display thoughtfully, though he couldn’t really hear what Miguel was saying.

Sam once again, found that she was caught up in Miguel’s infectious charm, and couldn’t resist smiling herself, as she shot a shy gaze towards the floor of the court. “Okay.”

Miguel then dropped her hand, and backed up, “That’s the spirit.” He turned and walked back underneath the net, towards his side of the court.

Robby turned his head around to gaze at Tory, who was sitting on the bleachers, her legs crossed and bobbing up and down in a fast, furious motion.

“Hey, mute!” Hawk called out towards him. “It’s your serve!”

Robby then gazed over, just in time to catch the ball Miguel had tossed his way.

The game was under way with Robby’s serve, and Sam had to admit, the longer it went on, the more fun she ended up having. She’d managed to score her team 2 points, but the boys were absolutely decimating them. Moon seemed to be scared of the ball, and the boys often aimed it at her, knowing they’d get a point off the fact that she’d just turn and cover her eyes and squeal a little. Aisha was pretty competitive. She’d yell obscenities towards them and do her very best to spike the ball, hoping to hit one of them with it. But they’d just laugh and dodge it every time, only riling her up more.

Robby seemed uncharacteristically focused, and every time he served, he hit the ball as if it were some object that he needed to destroy. He still wasn’t talking though. Just serving, and then silently observing the front line, as they’d defend their side of the court. 

“Ahhh!” Moon screamed, terrified as the ball hit the floor right in front of her. She shriveled and scrunched as she dodged out of its way, and it bounced a couple of times before rolling out of bounds.

Miguel and Hawk were laughing. As Hawk ran to retrieve the ball, Miguel approached the net, “I believe that’s game, girls.” He taunted, as he leaned onto the net, fingers intertwined through the holes of it, “I expected a little more of a fight than that.”

Aisha stomped forward, “You’re just using Moon as an advantage. If Tory were in here, you wouldn’t have had such an easy time!” she spat, before instantly turning her head to Moon, who looked slightly hurt, “No offense, Moon.”

Moon seemed to take to Aisha’s response well enough, as she threw her arms up in a ‘giving up’ sort of motion, “Yeah sure. No biggie.”

“Yeah well, _Tory_ ,” came Tory’s voice as she made her way up to Hawk and snatched the ball out of his hands. She then gazed at Moon, before walking onto the court and tilting her head towards her, “Is subbing in for Moon this round.”

“Oh thank god!” Moon replied gratefully, as she ran towards center court, ducked underneath the net and then made her way over to the bleachers. 

Sam shifted uncomfortably, getting back into position, as Tory walked towards the back of the line. She positioned herself to serve, and the second game was underway.

Sam found herself having a much more complicated time during this game. Tory may as well have been a machine. She was running around the court, hitting the ball back as much as she could, jumping forward, jumping up, anything she could do to return the ball to the other side.

After a hit from Miguel, Sam thought it was finally going to be her turn to get involved in the game. Instead, she took a hard hit to the shoulder, before falling backwards onto the ground. The ball hit the floor, and bounced out of bounds.

When she had time to compose herself, she looked up at Tory, who was standing over her with a pointed glare.

“Oh sorry.” Tory sneered sarcastically, “Didn’t see you there.”

Tory didn’t even offer to help Sam up, she simply turned and walked back to her side of the court, security shouting a warning at her in the process, and leaving Aisha to retrieve the ball, while Miguel ran up to the net again.

“Are you okay?” Miguel called out to her, wondering if he should offer to help her up or not.

Sam got to her own feet herself, though, before muttering a, “Yeah I’m fine.” In response.

Miguel could sense that Sam was rather bothered by what had just happened, however, and turned a fed up expression towards the girl waiting on the left side of the court. He lifted the net and ducked under it, walking towards her swiftly. 

All the while, Sam watched intently, while Aisha muttered an “oh no…”

“Can I talk to you for a minute.” Miguel stated, more so than asked, as he was all but in the face of Tory.

“About what?” Tory asked innocently, tilting her head slightly and batting her eyes at him.

Miguel drew in a sharp breath, lowering his voice, “You know what.”

Tory waited a second, taking in how annoyed an irritated his expression was, but ultimately decided to laugh at him instead. She placed a hand on his chest and playfully pushed him back a bit, though there had been some force in her push, “Well what do you have to say Miguel?” Tory announced loudly, making sure the whole room could hear as she pivoted on her heel and held out her arms.

Hawk looked highly amused by what was taking place, while Moon looked panicked, even from the bleachers. Aisha was looking at the ground awkwardly, still holding the ball in her hands, and looking like she wished none of this were happening. Security were also attentively eyeing the situation.

“Cause whatever it is, you can say in front of my friends too.” Tory continued taunting, her eyes landing on Sam whenever she’d put emphasis on the word friends. “Right Sam?” she then inquired, pointing towards her, “I mean, we are all _friends_ here, right?”

Sam didn’t understand what the hell was going on, or why this “Tory” seemed to have such a problem with her right out of the gate.

Tory turned back to Miguel again, who was now looking just flat out mad as he squeezed his eyes shut with frustration, “Okay, Tory, sure. But are you positive you want everyone to hear this?”

Tory laughed again mockingly, before lowering her tone, and getting in Miguel’s face, just as he had done to her just seconds before. She ground out an, “Absolutely.”

Miguel nodded a couple of times, “Okay.” Before he leaned into her face as well, and they were about as close as they could be without kissing at this point. He raised his voice now, “Stop being such a _fucking_ bitch.” 

He hadn’t yelled it or anything, but he’d somehow made his voice boom. And he’d delivered his message to her with such anger, that it even made Sam a little nervous.  
The gym stayed completely quiet. Even Hawk had shed his amused smirk from his face.

But Miguel’s eyes stayed glued on Tory, and if looks could kill, she probably would have dropped dead, right then and there.

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her eyes showing hints of hurt for the smallest of moments, before she furrowed her brows, and looked up at him again, “Whatever.” She spat quietly, her tone of voice having lost all traces of anger or threat, “I’m over this.”

With that, Tory stormed towards the door, shoving past the security as she did so, but of course, she wasn’t allowed to truly leave, so she resorted to huffing a couple of times before sitting down against the wall outside of the room. 

“Jesus…” Aisha was the first to break the ice, giving Miguel a look from where she stood, “Did you have to be so hard about it?”

Miguel deadpanned a stare at her, “Oh come on, like she hasn’t had it coming all day.”

“Miguel’s right.” Hawk defended, interjecting himself into the conversation as he looked over at Aisha, “Whatever bullshit she has going on in her head doesn’t give her the right to take it out on us.”

“Us?” Miguel questioned, turning around to look at Hawk, “You mean Sam.”

“Whatever.” Hawk replied, “The point still stands.”

Hawk then turned his eyes to Sam, “And you…” he started, taking a couple of steps in her direction. “Don’t be such a pussy. Fight back next time.”

“No, Sam, don’t listen to him.” Miguel then argued, shooting him a glare and sighing, before softening his gaze and looking towards her, “Fighting will just get you into trouble.”

“So what?” Hawk fired back, “Sometimes you have to take a stand.”

“Yeah but not like that.” Miguel retorted, and even though they both seemed to spend a few seconds annoyed with each other, it faded rather quickly.

Sam hugged her arms around herself, and gazed at the ground.  
Once again, tension had reared its ugly invasive head.

Sam was really thankful when she finally was able to take her shower. The doctor had been right about her starting to feel better soon. After getting a little food in her body, and gym and now the shower, she felt less drowsy or out of it than she had since arriving. 

She’d also made up her mind already, that she needed to sit down and just talk to Tory. Obviously, Tory had the wrong impression of her, but maybe if she introduced herself personally, you know, just talked to her, that would resolve whatever it was that Tory was thinking she didn’t like about her.

Part of her was nervous to even approach her, but the other part of her didn’t want this to continue. Sam needed to just bide her time, and not make enemies so that she could get out of here as quick as possible. If she were lucky, maybe she could convince her dad to come and pick her up when she got her first phone call.

“Sam!” came a heavy knock on her door, and the voice of Nurse Lowry, “Five minutes!”

“Okay!” Sam called back, and sighed. How she wished she could just stay underneath the shower faucet, letting the warm water blanket her until her skin developed wrinkles, and her body contained enough heat to power her through the rest of the day.

She was given a clean pair of the same colored scrubs to put on after her shower, and she supposed this was going to be the extent of the wardrobe at this place, considering everyone else wore the same thing, and they’d all been here longer than her.  
She slipped them on and dried her hair as much as she could with what time she had left, before they were all summoned to the hallway, and taken down to the classroom.

Sam’s school hadn’t had time to send over her classwork for her yet, so Nurse Lowry provided her with some blank paper and colored pencils to doodle on. Everyone took their seats, although Tory was still obviously pretty upset with Miguel, by the way she yanked her chair out from her desk and sat down, her back slightly turned to him. 

She seen Miguel turn around and exchange a few quiet words with Hawk.

Before Miguel turned back to his desk, he caught eyes with Sam, and he gave her a smile, to which she faintly smiled back at him.

“Eyes up front, Miguel.” Nurse Lowry scolded, before taking her leave and Sam watched as a burly looking man walked in. He sat down at the front of the room behind a larger desk in the corner. 

The man seemed to make himself comfortable, tilting back slightly in the black leather computer chair and propping his feet up on the desk. He folded his arms and glowered out among the 7 of them, but didn’t say a word. 

Within 5 minutes, the man was asleep, his snoring ringing through the room like an alarm clock you couldn’t press snooze on. Every so often, he’d wake himself up with his snores, causing him to belt out a grumpy “quiet!” to the kids, before falling back into his sleep.

Sam found it to be a little funny, but she could tell some of the others were bored out of their minds, and definitely not working on any school work.

Robby had his head down on his desk, and his head buried in his arms, possibly asleep as well. Aisha and Moon were passing a note back and forth, and Hawk was throwing little wads of paper towards the man at the front. Most of the time they hit, the man was completely unphased, but a couple of times, Hawk had managed to land the paper in his mouth, to which the man would suck down a few breaths before abruptly coughing a bit. It was all Miguel and Hawk could do to keep themselves from bursting out laughing.

Sam had managed to doodle a few things on one of her sheets of paper, but she was more focused on what she was going to say to Tory, and how she was going to go about it. Nurse Lowry had said there was recreational time after dinner for a while, so maybe she’d get a chance to do it then.

She just hoped it would be okay. 

When study time finally ended, and Nurse Lowry returned to the room to collect everyone, taking a moment to scold the man at the front for falling asleep, once again, on the job – which only meant to Sam that it must happen more often than not – everyone stood up from their seats and began to shuffle out. They left all of their workbooks and papers on their desks as they did so. 

Sam walked to the front of the room, the couple of pieces of paper in her hand as she did so, and she stopped at the trashcan to toss them into it.

Miguel caught this out of the corner of his eye. He could see there were some doodles on the paper, and for whatever reason, it interested him to see what might be there. “Whoa.” Miguel stopped, causing Sam to stop as well as he took a step back and leaned down to pick up the paper. His eyes scanned it for a second, before he smiled, “This is kind of adorable.” He stated, looking at Sam.

“Not really.” Sam answered back, her eyes also landing back on her paper, “It’s just a few worthless doodles.”

“Why an octopus?” Miguel then questioned, raising an eyebrow toward her.

Sam shrugged slightly, “I don’t know. I’ve just always kind of liked them.”

“Yeah…me too.” He answered back.

They stared at each other for a moment, a slightly electric feeling between them, before they both, at the same time started feeling a little bashful.

“Yeah, well…I guess um…” Miguel started, fumbling a bit with trying to get a proper sentence out.

“Yeah we should um…” Sam followed up, her cheeks feeling a little hot, as she motioned towards the door, “We should probably go.”

“Right.” Miguel answered, nodding towards her, “We should.”

Sam let out a little bit of a nervous giggle, before brushing past him and leaving out the door. Miguel waited a few seconds, and then followed her out.

As they filtered in to the group therapy room, a man with a rather loud voice began to greet them, “Hello hello everyone! How are we today?”

A chorus of “eh’s” answered him back, and Sam felt herself lingering a little bit as she watched everyone else take a seat.

“Oh come on, it can’t be that bad, can it?” Mr. Hersh asked, giving them looks that stated he thought they were all being ridiculous, before his eyes picked up to fall on Sam. “And you must be Samantha.” He greeted, walking over to her immediately and holding out his hand, “I’m Mr. Hersh, the counselor. I am so thrilled to have you here.”

Sam reluctantly reached out and took his hand, before responding with a quiet, “Thanks.”

“Come now,” Mr. Hersh urged, putting an arm around her shoulder as he steered her towards the circle of chairs, “Don’t be shy!”

The only empty chair left was between Hawk and Robby, and Sam slunk into it as passively as possible. Miguel watched her with a smile, but she didn’t see his gaze as she did her best to make sure her chair was as equally between the other two as she could. She hugged her arms around herself and scrunched up as much as she could, not wanting to get in anyone’s space.

Hawk didn’t seem to care though, he’d sprawled himself onto the chair, one elbow perched on the back of it, while one of his legs rested outstretched towards the middle of the circle.   
Robby was leaned over and his elbows were propped on his knees, his face in his hands, bangs in his face.  
Tory was on the other side of Robby, and Aisha was on the other side of her. On the other side of Hawk was Moon, then Miguel. The teacher was sat in between him and Aisha.

Mr. Hersh made himself more comfortable, as he crossed his legs and cupped his hands over the end of his knee. “Well then, who wants to start today?” he asked, his eyes scanning between everyone.

Everyone was quiet, and Sam closed her eyes, in the hopes she could avoid Dr. Hersh making contact with them and choosing her to say something.

“Anyone?” Dr. Hersh then questioned, his eyes moving to where Moon sat. “Moon, it’s been a while since you’ve started group off, how about you?”

Moon shrugged, “That’s because everything’s great. I don’t have anything to really say.” She put on a wide smile, making full on eye contact with Mr. Hersh.

Miguel rolled his eyes at her, and her bullshit, before Aisha spoke up.  
“I have something to share today.”

Mr. Hersh shifted in his chair to turn to Aisha, “That’s great Aisha, we are all ears. What would you like to share?”

Aisha then seemed to get a little bit nervous, now that everyone’s eyes were on her. But she took a deep breath, and continued, “Last night…I sort of had a dream.”

“Oh?” Mr. Hersh asked, his voice now lowered a bit, “What kind of dream?”

“Well I was at home…alone.” Aisha started, and Sam could tell she was having to pause just to remember to breath, “My mom was out at the country club and it was a Saturday afternoon.”

Sam gazed around for a second. She wasn’t sure where Aisha was going with this, but only half of the room seemed interested in hearing it.

Robby hadn’t changed positions at all. Neither had Hawk, but at least he was looking in Aisha’s direction. Miguel and Moon seemed to be listening intently. Sam couldn’t see what Tory was doing, but, she could imagine she probably wasn’t paying attention.

“And I remember going to the kitchen because I was thirsty, but…”

A few of the kids in the room shifted uncomfortably. Miguel sprawled his feet out in front of him, and slouched slightly in his chair, folding his arms over his chest.

“I never got to make a drink because my mom had left a knife out on the table.”

It was Mr. Hersh’s turn to take a heavy sigh and shift a little. 

Aisha went quiet again, and the room was so silent, Sam was sure that if a pin dropped, everyone would hear it.

“What happened next, Aisha?” Mr. Hersh then coaxed, even though you could tell by his expression, he already knew the answer.

Aisha turned her head towards him feebly. “I think you know…”

“How bad was it?” 

“When I woke up from the dream, my cravings were so bad, I couldn’t go back to sleep.” Aisha continued, and she sat up straighter in her chair, “It was like my body was punishing me. I couldn’t concentrate, or focus on anything. I wanted to pull my own skin off, it felt so bad.”

Moon brought a hand to her mouth, while Miguel just looked on sympathetically.

“Did you alert the nurse?” Mr. Hersh quizzed, now using a free hand to prop his head up in it.

Aisha looked down slightly, “No…”

“Aisha, you have to tell someone when these types of things happen. We’re here for you.” Mr. Hersh encouraged, in a gentle voice, “We have things that we can give you to help take the edge off, or even to go back to sleep.”

Aisha was quiet for a second as she shook her head slowly, “It’s not the same.” She took a deep and emotional breath. “I need to feel it, I need to see.”

Mr. Hersh then leaned towards her, putting a hand on her shoulder, “No, Aisha. That’s not the way, and you know it.” He told, “Cutting yourself is just a false euphoria. The sensation it brings you only lasts for a few minutes, and then it’s gone, and what are you left with?”

Aisha sat back in her chair a little bit, sinking slightly as she did so, and letting out a sigh, “A permanent scar for a problem that’s only temporary, and can be better solved by a conversation.”

Aisha had recited the last line like a robot. As if she had heard it a thousand times. 

So that’s why she had the long sleeves, Sam thought.

“That’s right.” Mr. Hersh told in a congratulatory tone, as he gave Aisha’s shoulder a reaffirming squeeze. He then shifted his position again, “Does anyone have anything they would like to add to the discussion?”

Tory huffed almost instantly, “What could we possibly say that would make any difference?”

“You know full well that being open and talking about issues is one of the best solutions to the problems we face, Tory.” Mr. Hersh answered back. His eyes then began to scan the room, “Being honest with yourself, and seeking support from others with a similar age can make a huge difference in the way we feel about ourselves, and how we choose to deal with our problems.”

“It let’s us know we’re not alone. That we all are going through something, even if we have different vices to deal with our problems.” Mr. Hersh then landed his eyes on Hawk, “Eli, you’re in a similar boat to Aisha, isn’t there anything you would like to say?”

“I’m nothing like her.” Hawk spat back, glowering towards Mr. Hersh with a less than friendly expression. 

“Maybe not exactly, but you both seek the same sensation. You like to feel pain, to try and cope with reality.” Mr. Hersh said, not intimidated at all with the look in Hawk’s eyes, nor the tone at which he had taken. “Am I not right in that assessment?”

“No, you’re not.” Hawk growled, now sitting up straighter in his chair, “I cope with reality just fine,” he then pointed towards Aisha accusingly, “She’s just a rich mommy’s girl who grew up without a daddy, and can’t deal with the fact that she looks like and has the appetite of a goddamn elephant!”

“Hawk!” Moon snapped towards him, reaching out to take his arm in her hand.

Hawk immediately shoved it away, “Oh shut the hell up Moon. Go eat a fucking sandwich or something.”

Moon looked hurt by the exchange, while Miguel decided to interject. He sat up straight in his chair, and peered towards Hawk, “No, you’re looking at it the wrong way, man. Mr. Hersh is just pointing out the fact that your go-to solution when things get hard is to take it out on yourself like Aisha. Not that you do it the same way or have the same problems.”

Hawk folded his arms across his chest, and turned now to glare towards Miguel, “You think you’re so smart, don’t you?”

Miguel gazed back with disbelief, “What? No, I was just – “

“You think you’ve got everyone figured out. That we’re alllllll so fucked up in the head, and you can offer an outsiders perspective.” Hawk smarted back, causing Miguel to fall quiet, and look rather annoyed. “Well don’t forget you’re sitting in one of these chairs too.” He bobbed his foot a couple of times, “Why don’t we talk about what you did? How you got in here?”

“This isn’t about me.” Miguel ground out in response.

That’s when the doctor decided to intervene finally. Sam didn’t understand why he hadn’t already. Wasn’t he there to keep things calm? And civil?

“Alright well, for a while there things were okay.” Mr. Hersh told, and both Hawk and Miguel slumped back in their seats, adrenaline no doubt surging through them after the exchange. “But it stopped being constructive when you all started pointing fingers and turning on each other.”

Sam felt nervous just sitting next to Hawk right now. 

“We’re not enemies here, guys.” Mr. Hersh reminded, extended his arms and motioning towards all of them as if he were trying to pull them in for a group hug, or something. “Remember that we’re all here together, for one reason or another. And we need to help each other, encourage each other, and talk things through, so that we can understand each other’s feelings the best we can.”

Mr. Hersh then stood from his chair and began pacing slowly behind them, “Now, it’s okay that things get a little heated sometimes, and you vent out some anger here and there. It’s important to express ourselves, right? But when you start to see each other as enemies, all of this loses its purpose.”

“We’ve got to lift each other up, rather than tear each other down.” Mr. Hersh was directly behind Sam now, and her heart stopped a beat. “Now, going back to Aisha, does anyone here have any words of encouragement for her? About how it’s okay to feel lonely and self-conscious sometimes, but that there might be better ways of handling it?”

“Miguel?” Mr. Hersh then volunteered, when no one else seemed to want to speak up.

Miguel sighed, before sitting up straighter in his seat. His eyes were cast downward, for a moment, before he lifted them to look at the girl a couple of seats away. “Aisha, in no universe do I think it’s easy to deal with the feelings you must have about yourself…” he trailed off momentarily, before clasping his hands together and continuing, “But you have to realize that there are people that care about you, who don’t want to see you hurt, or having to suffer through any of this alone, so…” he then looked down slightly, and held his arms out as if to shrug, in a sense, “I mean, I’ve told you this before, but if you feel that way again, just know that you can come talk to me.”

“Me too.” Moon added quietly, holding on to the edges of her chair. 

The room fell quiet again for a moment.

And Sam felt, she knew what she had to do – what the right thing to do was, at that moment, “Yeah, me too, Aisha.”

She had been slightly embarrassed to speak up at first. It was one thing that Aisha barely knew her, let alone suggest she should trust her with anything going on in her head.

But Sam knew that if anyone had been brave enough, or even cared enough to speak up for her, to be her friend, to even talk to her at all, she may not be in here right now.  
Everyone needed friends.  
And although no one had cared to show Sam that courtesy when things got bad for her, it didn’t mean that she couldn’t be there for someone else.

“That’s very kind of you Samantha.” Mr. Hersh stated with a smile, returning to his seat and looking toward Aisha again. “So you see Aisha? There are people here willing to lend you their shoulder if you need it. Even our newest addition found you friendly and approachable enough to offer a helping hand.”

“Yeah.” Aisha replied quietly, before a small smile came to her face and she looked out at the group, “Thanks everybody.”

“And from now on if you have problems getting back to sleep, or suffer any kind of difficulty that would interfere with your rest, please tell the night nurse. That’s what she is there for.” Mr. Hersh instructed, before turning to Tory as Aisha nodded.  
“Tory? How about you? How has your mood been today?”

“Fine.” Tory answered back simply, and her eyes lifted to meet Miguel’s sternly. “There’s been no issues.”

“Really??” Mr. Hersh questioned, almost in disbelief, “No outbursts of anger or anything?”

“Nope.” Tory replied, but her eyes stayed on Miguel, who was shaking his head slightly and furrowed his brows toward her.

“Well if that’s the case then you should be proud of yourself.” Mr. Hersh responded, his happy smile lighting his face up once more, “You’re making quite a bit of progress lately.”

Aisha exchanged a glance with Moon, who then gazed over at Hawk, who then gazed at Sam. Sam met his eyes, but only for a second.

“And what about you, Robby?” Mr. Hersh then directed his attention towards the quietest in the group. “Anything to share today?”

Robby seemed unresponsive for a moment, but Sam was surprised when he picked his head up. He sat back in his chair and folded his arms. He tucked his legs underneath his chair, and shook the bangs out of his face.  
Wow, Sam thought. She’d never seen a more beautiful pair of eyes in her life.

“No.” Robby answered shortly, but turned his head ever so slightly, “Besides the new girl, there’s nothing exciting going on.”

Sam felt her cheeks heating up, as she instantly averted her eyes to the floor. A second ago she didn’t even know if this guy had a face under his hair, let alone the fact that he’d taken any notice of her arrival.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Hawk started in, gazing amusedly over Sam’s now slumped down and embarrassed form to look at Robby, “It speaks.”

Robby only humored him as much as returning eye contact, before facing forward towards Mr. Hersh again. 

“Well…” Mr. Hersh finally joined in, wearing another look of disbelief as if he couldn’t comprehend the fact that Robby had said more than his “no” at all, “I understand that getting a new member to the unit can certainly be exciting.”

“On that high note, that’ll be all for group therapy today. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” Mr. Hersh told, his tone still holding a bit of excitement.

The kids got up from their chairs, Moon slinking along, moaning and groaning behind everyone, because it was time to head to the cafeteria for dinner.

Miguel noticed her slow trudging, and rolled his eyes, before reaching back and grabbing her by the wrist, pulling her along a little faster, and when she started to complain, Miguel immediately cut her off, “Just be thankful I didn’t stir up all your shit today.”

“I am…” Moon whined in return, stumbling along after him, all the way to the cafeteria.

Dinner that night was 2 pieces of fried chicken, with a side of mashed potatoes, green beans, and a roll, and although it was a short endeavor, everyone ate pretty well. Even Moon had eaten some of her green beans, at least, though her two pieces of chicken went to Aisha and Hawk, respectively.

Afterwards, it was recreational time, and Sam wasn’t sure who she should spend it with. She wanted a chance to talk with Tory, but she’d left just before dinner was over.   
Miguel and Hawk were playing video games, while Moon was caught up in a book on the couch beside them. Robby had also left it seemed, so when Sam spotted Aisha, in the reading corner at the opposite end, she made her way to her.

“Hey…” Sam greeted, as she approached the chair Aisha had sat down in.

Aisha turned her head to see Sam standing there, “Oh hi!”

“Do you mind if I sit down here?” Sam questioned, motioning towards the empty chair to her right.

“Not at all.” Aisha responded, motioning towards the empty chair with her hand, and shooting a smile towards Sam as she took it.

“So…” Sam started, rubbing her hands up and down the arms of the chair a bit nervously. This is the most stride she’d made to initiate a conversation herself since she’d gotten there. She hoped she wouldn’t come off as annoying or pestering somehow. “What do you usually do during this…I don’t know, recreational time?”

“Well usually Moon and I talk, but,” she took a second to gaze over her shoulder, “Lately she’s been re-reading the Twilight series, and I could care less about hearing how charming the idea of a male’s skin glittering in the sun can be.”

Sam laughed a little at this lighthearted moment she was sharing with Aisha, but it didn’t take long for it to turn, which, she’d felt might happen.

“I’m really sorry for what happened today in group therapy.” Aisha stated next, looking at her sincerely, “I had hoped nobody would scare you with anything they said on your first day, but, I really needed to talk about what happened.”

Sam shook her head slightly, “You don’t have to apologize for anything. I think it’s great you can talk about things.”

It was true. Sam had spent the last year of her life not telling anyone anything about what made her feel bad, and the fact that Aisha had the support she did, was great.

“Really?” Aisha questioned, with a bit of disbelief.

“Yeah of course.” Sam replied, before leaning forward a bit, “And I meant what I said. I mean,” she held up a hand, “No pressure of course, I know we don’t know each other yet, but, my dad always told me I was a great listener. And if it’ll help to talk about things, who am I to really deny you of that?”

Aisha seemed to relax a bit more as she nodded her head, “Well I appreciate it. It’s nice to have people who actually care about what’s going on in your life.”

“I’m sure.” Sam responded, in a friendly tone as she bobbed a bit in her seat a bit.

This felt nice. Truly.

“So you go to West Valley, huh?” Aisha then started in, before adding, “I’ve heard it’s a good school, but, my mom won’t let me go anywhere but private school. She’s afraid that being somewhere public where there’s less rules and supervision might corrupt me or something.”

Sam smiled towards her, “Well your mom isn’t entirely wrong. Some of the people there can be pretty crazy.”

“Hm, I’ll bet.” Aisha answered, but there was a glint of excitement in her eyes over the prospect of attending a school where the rules were a little more lax. “Do you have a boyfriend or anything?”

“Uh…” Sam gazed downward a little bit, feeling herself tightening up slightly. She willed herself to relax, though. It’s okay, she thought. It’s not that big of a deal. It’s old news. She looked back up again at Aisha’s curious face, and forced a smile back on, “I did yeah, um, Kyler.” She felt her throat tighten just at the mention of his name, “But we broke up a while ago,” she continued, waving a hand as if to dismiss any feelings she had over the matter, “So I guess not.”

“Oh…” Aisha frowned, looking at her sympathetically, “I’m sorry to hear that, Sam. What happened?”

Sam took a silent, deep breath, but the smile remained as she bobbed a couple of times again, “We just…we didn’t always see eye to eye.” She told, keeping it as miniscule as possible, “But it’s fine, you know…water under the bridge, right?”

Sam’s eyes blinked towards Aisha, when she emitted a bit of a gasp, “He’s not the reason you’re…you know…” Aisha pointed to the floor.

Sam shook her head slightly, “Um, not really. You know…there’s kind of a lot of reasons I guess.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Aisha said before Sam could get anymore out, and it was her turn to wave a hand like she was dismissing the conversation, “We don’t have to talk about that if you don’t want to.” She then leaned back in her chair, “If you want my opinion, the male species can go screw themselves anyway. Who needs ‘em?”

Another gasp came from behind them, and they both turned their heads to see Miguel heading around the corner of Aisha’s chair. He glowered down at her, “I’m hurt that those words escaped you Aisha. What has the male species ever done to you?”

“Bunch of lying snakes in the grass…” Aisha mumbled, as Miguel took the last remaining free chair in the little nook.

“Hey, snakes are cool.” Miguel then defended, as he leaned back in the chair, and smirked slightly, “But yeah I guess we can be assholes sometimes.”

He propped his feet up on the table that was positioned in front of the chairs, and looked to be making himself comfortable.

“So what brings you to our little corner of the world?” Aisha prompted, as she folded her arms and did the same with her feet.

“Oh, well…I could be wrong, but, I’m pretty sure Hawk and Moon are about 1 vampire conversation away from making out.” Miguel informed, sounding slightly amused, but also completely put off by the idea of it.

“Wha – again??” Aisha then spouted loudly, as she completely turned in her chair to see if she could see what was going on.

“Hey! Shhh!” Miguel snapped quickly, watching as Aisha turned back around with a questioning gaze, “If they get any attention drawn to them, security is going to bust them again.”

“You’re one to talk.” Aisha fired back, “Last time they got busted, you pinned the blame for it on me, and I never thought I’d hear the end of it.”

Miguel shrugged playfully, meeting Aisha’s stern eyes, and he couldn’t help but laugh. “I wuv you eesha.”

Aisha rolled her eyes before turning to Sam again, who’d rather been enjoying the exchange between the two. “See what I mean?” she motioned towards Miguel with her thumb. “Snakes. All of them.”

Sam laughed a little, and turned her gaze to Miguel, who was straightening up in his chair.

“That’s okay. I don’t need to hear you actually say it, but I know you love me too, Aisha.” Miguel teased, before he turned his head now to look at Sam, “And what about you, Miss Samantha?” he continued with his playful tone, “Do you share Aisha’s feelings about the “male species”?”

Sam smiled gazing down at the arm of the chair. She swore his smile was infectious. “Maybe just what you said about how you can be assholes.”

Miguel’s jaw dropped open, and he let out an overly exaggerated “wow”. “I am totally at an unfair advantage here. Geez.”

“Well, you did ask.” Aisha then quipped, and she and Sam exchanged a smile.

Miguel however, was looking past them now, as his eyes focused on someone who was just now entering the room. He stood up from his chair, “I’ll catch you guys later.”

And without another word, he walked away. Sam watched him go, turning his head until she saw Miguel approaching Tory. They seemed to exchange a few words, before taking a seat at one of the cafeteria tables.  
Aisha let out a small sigh, shaking her head as Sam turned back towards her. 

“What?” Sam asked, curious as to why Aisha had had that reaction.

“Oh I just, I don’t know why he even still tries with her.” Aisha informed, also now turning to look at Sam, “The girl is all over the place.” Aisha used her hands and lifted them up and down, “She’s fine, then she’s not, she’s up, then down, rinse, then repeat.”

Sam just listened quietly, not really knowing what to say about the information.

“I mean don’t get me wrong, she has her moments where she’s kind of cool.” Aisha then added, as if to defend her own statement about her, “The problem is that nobody ever knows how exactly she’s feeling. Whether we should talk to her or not, leave her alone or not. And by the time we realize which it is, it’s usually too late and something has pissed her off.”

Aisha then peeked over her shoulder once again, “Gotta hand it to Miguel though. The boy just keeps on going back for more.” She stated, as she watched them, “I will admit, he seems to be the only one that can break through her ice.”  
She then turned back once more, “Better him than me, I always say. Even Hawk doesn’t like approaching her when she’s in a mood, and that’s really saying something, cause out of all of us, Hawk might actually be crazy.”

Sam found herself just giving a slight nod in response, as she gazed towards the floor in front of her, and hugged her arms around herself, letting out a sigh. She supposed her talk with Tory was just going to have to wait.

An hour later, they were all heading back to their rooms for the night. Miguel walked Tory to her door, while Moon and Aisha both told Sam goodnight. She returned one of her own politely, and the two girls filed into their separate rooms, while Hawk simply told Miguel “see ya, man.” 

“Well…you’ve done it.” Miguel began, taking a few steps towards Sam before she could retreat into her room.

Sam gazed towards him, slightly confused, “Done what?”

“You’ve survived day one.” Miguel continued, as he paced towards her with a smile, “Not everyone can achieve such greatness.”

Sam once again, found herself looking at the ground, fighting the urge to blush. She let out a small sound of laughter, and her bright eyes blinked up towards him, “Well I guess I have you to partially thank for that.”

“Partially?” Miguel then questioned, leaning in slightly, “Cause I kind of thought I could take a little more credit for it than that.”

Sam couldn’t erase the smile off her face if she tried, and she bobbed a couple times on her feet, “Okay. Maybe just a little more.”

“Yesssssss…” Miguel responded, dragging out the “yes” quite a bit more than was necessary, as he began to back away. 

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Sam told, watching as he back tracked towards his room.

“I will be here.” Miguel replied, stopping at his doorway, just long enough to give her one more sweet smile, “Sweet dreams, Sam.”

He disappeared from her view, and she whispered out into the now empty hallway, “You too.”


End file.
